Turn To Me
by Vuumuu
Summary: YAOI: Duo x Quatre (also with pairings: 1x2, 3x4) After a tragic event involving Heero and Trowa, Quatre and Duo must conquer their grief and find support in one another. (warning: DEATH)


  
~Turn To Me~  
By FaerieFlit  
12.14.00  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Allrighty then now. This is the first time I've written a fic that is 2x4. I just hope that it doesn't turn off alotta you. It's multi-part... first time I ever wrote a multi-part fic, too. Woo~oo, I'm on a roll!!!   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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Part 1:  
Death  
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Duo brushed the bangs out of his face, and let the wet towel drop to the floor. Hot air wafted out of the open bathroom door, and a small puddle was forming around his feet. He reached for his brush on the nightstand and began to pull it through his damp hair, listening to the steady clicking of Heero's nimble fingers on the keyboard.  
  
Heero paused, and Duo saw him inhale very slowly, as if in pain. The Deathscythe pilot squinted to try and get a better look at the computer screen. was it something Heero was typing, or reading?  
  
Heero pushed out his chair, standing up. "Duo." He turned around, and let his gaze drop to the floor. Duo stood up off the bed and picked up his wet towel, tossing it into the designated 'Laundry Corner.' He walked slowly over to the dresser, and pulled out the top drawer, extracting a pair of boxers.   
  
"Yeah, Heero?" He answered, smiling.   
  
Heero looked grimer than usual, and paused before beginning. "I... I have to go to the Sanq Kingdom tommorrow."  
  
Duo blanched. "Oh." He finished pulling on his jeans and grabbed a t-shirt. "I thought you had taken care of all that."  
  
Heero swallowed heavily. "Duo, these last few nights... forget about them. They never happened. Any relationship we might have had- forget. Can you do that for me?"  
  
Duo felt his stomach drop. "Oh. Yeah. I get it. You're going to Relena." He felt anger began to pile in the pit of his stomach. This was all happening so quickly, he felt a little dizzy. His vision began to blur. "Yeah, Heero. I'll forget. There was never anything between us but sex. Nothing at all. Just using each other for release."  
  
Heero started forward, then stopped. "Duo... you know that that is not what I meant." Duo failed to hear him deny the statement that he was going to Relena.  
  
"Eh? What was that? Hmmmm? What do you mean, then? I didn't quite catch it."  
  
"I meant..." Heero started forward, then stopped. "Duo- don't hold this against me."  
  
Duo knew now, for certain, that Heero had never loved him. He had told Heero that he loved him, and he assumed that since Heero came to him every night, to share his bed, that the other loved him back. But he had always had doubts.  
  
"I understand, then, Heero. I'll forget. I'll pretend 'us' never was, and will cease to be." Duo yanked the red shirt over his head, then left the room, not bothering to dry or braid his still damp hair.  
  
*************************************************************  
  
Quatre's room was just down the hall, Wufei's being between him and Heero's.   
  
He knocked on the door. A voice called 'come in' before dropping back into sullen silence.  
  
He opened the door, and stepped in. Quatre was sitting on the end of the couch, gazing at a picture of Trowa. Duo sat down next to him.  
  
"We won't ever forget him." He murmured to the Arabian.   
  
"No." Quatre said. "But- why? He sacrificed his life for us. He shouldn't have self-destructed. He should have just called us on the one-way for help."  
  
Quatre's eyes shone with unshed tears, but they didn't fall. His cheeks were dry. Duo sighed and leaned back on the cushions. "This pain... it's raw. almost like it's not real. Like it never happened." He closed his eyes. "Like you know something is going to happen, but you won't believe it. The pain is too raw."  
  
When he opened his eyes again, Quatre had put the picture down and was watching him. "Is it Heero, Duo?"  
  
Duo studied the Arabian in turn, then looked down at the floor, and closed his eyes. "He's going... to the Sanq Kingdom. To Relena." Quatre stiffened beside him.  
  
"So soon. Duo- I don't know how he- why does he- with Trowa- but you-" Quatre stopped groping for the right words, and lapsed back into silence, anger marring his flawless features.   
  
Duo shook his head. "He's leaving me- us, for Relena. The Sanq Kingdom. Not that there was ever anything between us..."  
  
Duo jumped when he felt Quatre's hand brush away a tear that he didn't even know he had shed. His touch was so soft and gentle... not at all like Heero's rough, in-control forcefulness...  
  
Duo sat up and looked at Quatre. "Quatre... what was between you and Trowa?"  
  
Quatre bent his head. "I... I don't know. There was something. But I never got a chance to find out. Trowa's gone, leaving me to wonder what might have been."  
  
The two were silent for a long time, then started when they heard the loud slam of a door from the hallway.   
  
Duo walked to the room door and opened it. There, standing in the hallway, small dufflebag clutched in a white-knuckled fist, was Heero. The young man looked grim and yet sad, as he watched Duo.   
  
Duo shut the door behind him. "Leaving, Heero?"  
  
Heero nodded briskly. "Duo." He shook his head. "Forget me. Just forget." And with that, he spun on his heel, and left.  
  
Duo felt a tear fall to the ground, to leave a stain on the crimson carpet, a memory of what might have been for years to come, but was lost, and will never be again.  
  
***************************************************************   
  
A week later, the phone rang in Duo's room. He willed himself to rise from the bed, but when his body didn't oblige, he let the machine take a message.  
  
The voice was curt and brisk, probably that of an officer. "Duo Maxwell." The message began. "This call is to inform you about the unexplainable actions of Relena Peacecraft that resulted in a Heero Yuy's death two nights before. The surveillance camera revealed that whilst in a mature situation with the Leader of the United World Nation, Heero Yuy revealed that he had been sleeping with you. Our Queen was so distraut that she... shot the young man. This of course is being blamed on mental instability, and nothing will be held against her or you."   
  
The machine blinked red, then clicked off. Duo felt the pain, raw inside him, ripping, clawing, but the tears wouldn't come. No tears were shed that night for a reckless pilot with deep-sea eyes, that had stolen Duo Maxwell's heart.   
  
  
  
  
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Part 2:  
Pain  
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Wufei sighed and tossed his head back, feeling the hot glow of the numerous candles on his bare skin. His bare, oiled body glistened in the candlelight, and cast his shadow onto the wall.   
  
The air was thick with the smoke from the hundreds of candles, and Wufei rubbed his temples. With Trowa's death, he had prepared for the antcient ritual that his ancestors had practiced. He had lit hundreds of candles, and set them all throughout the room, leaving a small circle in the middle in which he meditated.  
  
He wiped his forehead, and bent over again to continue praying. He would have been done by now, but with Heero's death, it stretched on. He figured that it was about time to do his ritual, for all the souls he had killed in the heat of battle; when his two fellow pilots had been killed, it was his duty to pray for them, put their souls at rest, like his ancestors had done for their kinsmen.  
  
The mocha color of his oiled skin turned a silken toffee where the candlelight shone once more, as the young man bent to pray yet again.  
  
**************************************************************  
  
"I wonder... what Wufei has been doing all this time?" Duo asked, curled up on Quatre's couch, as the Arabian made hot tea.  
  
"His ritual, I suppose." Quatre sighed.  
  
"Oh, yeah. He's alot of catching up to do, then." Duo added. "He forgot to do it the last time. I know- the room didn't reek of candle smoke two weeks ago on his usual day."  
  
Quatre nodded, and came into the living room, setting down a tray of hot tea. He sat down on the couch beside the American, and gazed at the two pictures on the coffee table. On was of Trowa, and the other of Heero.  
  
A sword of sorrow slashed breifly across his heart, and he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, preventing any tears from escaping.  
  
Duo was sitting upright now, legs against his chest, arms wrapped around them, chin resting on his knees. "Mourning's not easy." He murmured.   
  
Quatre nodded, seeing for the twentieth time Duo's swollen red eyes, and the tears stains on his face. He wore nothing but a pair of jeans, and Quatre saw out of the corner of his eye as he turned away a small scar on his side.  
  
"Duo...?" Quatre asked, turning back around.  
  
Duo looked up, and met Quatre's worried gaze evenly. "Yes?"  
  
Quatre hesitantly reached out, and traced the ragged scar on Duo's ribcage. "Is this...?"  
  
Duo closed his eyes. "It's of no importance."  
  
"But-" Quatre persisted.  
  
"I said nothing!" Duo shouted, yerking away from the Arabian. "It's nothing! Leave me alone!"  
  
"Oh... I see." Quatre said, ringing his hands together.  
  
Muffled sobs came from where Duo had buried his head in a pillow, and Quatre watched his friend with sad eyes.  
  
/Trowa.../ He thought, /what would you do? This pain... I fear it will really take Duo... and another of us can't die... not now... We must stay alive, for each other.../  
  
/Yes, you must stay alive, for each other.../  
  
/Pain.../  
  
*****************************************************  
  
Wufei opened the door to his spacious room in Quatre's Mansion, and the smell of smoke followed him as he stepped out and walked briskly down the hall.  
  
The door to the bathroom was ajar, and the room was filled with steam. However, no wet tracks were on the floor, and the shower was still on. Wufei hesitated, but then decided he'd check just make sure if anyone was still in there.  
  
He stepped in, and saw the clean, fresh white towel on the sink. The shower was definitly on, and the curtain was half-pulled back. He approached the edge, and stiffened up at what he saw.   
  
Duo was curled up in a fetal position on the floor of the shower, coated with dark, scraggly strands of hair, and his sobbing was muffled into his thin, bare arms.  
  
Wufei sighed and turned off the shower, then brought the towel to Duo. He draped it over the young man, and helped his to his feet. Duo's eyes were closed, and it was impossible to tell tears from the shower water that soaked his red cheeks.   
  
There was a sharp patter of feet, and Wufei turned as he helped Duo out of the stall, towel wrapped around his thin body. Quatre stood in the doorway.   
  
Quatre ran to Duo, and took the sobbing young man into his arms, giving Wufei a worried, questioning glance. Wufei shrugged and shook his head sadly, leaving the couple in the steaming room alone.  
  
******************************************************  
  
Duo stared with empty, dry eyes at the fan on the cieling, blades spinning around and around in a steady pattern.   
  
When he had recieved the message concerning his lover's death, he had not cried. He could find no more tears to shed.   
  
But as he showered, he realized something. He had caused Heero's death. Him. He was responsible. Not Relena.  
  
If nothing had ever happened between them, if Duo hadn't let Heero take him every night, Heero would have left for Relena sooner, and there would have been nothing for him to tell her. But because Duo had let Heero have him, mind, body and soul, because he had not refused, because he had loved the cobalt-eyed pilot in return, Relena had found out, and taken Heero's life. But it was not Relena that killed Heero. It was death, Shinigami.  
  
  
  
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Part 3:  
Alone  
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Wufei turned once more to wave goodbye to Quatre and Duo, as he boarded the small, private jet.  
  
He had not wanted to leave them, but a friend had contacted him earlier, telling him that one of his relatives had survived the detonation of his colony, and was now living on Earth, on the opposite side of the desert, where Quatre lived.  
  
As he stuffed his bag into the overhead department, he took one look out the window at Duo. The boy looked positivly deathly. Quatre continued to wave sadly, but he at least looked recovered from the deaths of their two co-pilots.  
  
"Mourning's not easy." He sighed, sinking into his cushioned seat.  
  
******************************************************  
  
Quatre watched Duo from across the spacious room. The American was gazing at a picture of Heero, splayed out on a heavily-cushioned arm-chair.  
  
/Trowa,/ Quatre thought, looking at a similar picture of the toffee-haired young man on the sidetable beside the couch he was on, /what can I do?/  
  
He looked at Duo again, then returned to his thoughts. /Duo is... hurt... broken.../ The Arabian closed is eyes. /Will he *ever* get over Heero? What happened between them? It's been two months since Heero was killed... two months and two weeks since you left... will Duo ever move on?/  
  
/He feels pain.../  
  
/Trowa, what kind of pain? Can mental pain be so great as too kill a person?/  
  
/He feels pain... anguish. He blames himself for Yuy's death./  
  
/But he did nothing./  
  
/Heero and him were lovers... his heart mourns, and harbors a false secret that slowly claims his life./  
  
/Oh, Trowa... but why? I have to do something.../  
  
/Tell him the truth... give him back his heart, his soul... his life./  
  
/Death, Trowa... Wufei is gone, but not dead. We are falling apart, our circle of friendship.../  
  
/Heal Duo, Quatre... and Wufei will come back./  
  
/Heal Duo./  
  
/Yes. Bring the circle together again. Forget about the two missing pieces. Bring together the last of us. Only you can do it... only you have ever been able to bring us together.../  
  
**************************************************  
  
Quatre took a deep breath, and entered Duo's dark room. The young man lay on the bed, With nothing but boxers on, gazing at the ceiling fan.  
  
"Duo...?" Quatre asked, sitting on the bed.  
  
Duo didn't respond.  
  
On impulse, Quatre checked for a pulse, just to calm the creeping feeling that rode up his spine.  
  
"Duo, you must listen to me. It is not your fault that Heero is gone."  
  
Duo drew in a shaky breath, the first sign of life from him yet.  
  
Quatre had decided that his plan to heal Duo, and get him to understand about Yuy's death, was to use someone as a pawn... someone that Duo could be persuaded to harbor blaming feelings torward. The choice was obvious; Relena Peacecraft.  
  
"Duo- it wasn't you. It wasn't you that killed Heero. It was- it was Relena." Quatre wondered briefly what this would do to his karma. "Relena pulled the trigger. She was jealous- of you and Heero."  
  
Duo struggled upright. "R- Relena?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"But me and Heero- I let Heero do it. He would have gone to Relena sooner if I hadn't."  
  
"Ahh, but you only did it because you *thought* you loved him."  
  
Quatre had spent hours thinking out each and every line he had used so far. And, as yet, his plan was working perfectly.  
  
"But- We- Relena-" Duo stopped stammering, and let his head drop back onto the pillows. "Relena."  
  
Quatre didn't quite know what to say now.  
  
"Relena..." Duo continued, "she... I guess... Heero didn't want me. He didn't like me. He wanted a woman. And Relena- she's the goddamned ruler of the world!" He stopped and looked thoughtful. "Maybe I shouldn't be damning God right about now, but-"  
  
Quatre placed a hand on the American's shoulder. "Relena did it. She took Heero's life. Not you. Heero died at her hands."  
  
Duo tensed and suddenly clenched his fists. "She... she killed Heero. That whore. That... bitch..." He growled and sat up, then swung his feet to the floor.   
  
/Uh-oh/ Quatre thought. /What's he up to now...?/  
  
"Umm... Duo... what are you... doing?" Quatre asked as he watched the young man tug on a pair of jeans.   
  
"I'm going to-" Duo stopped when the TV screen flickered on with the six o'clock news, Relena's face on the screen behind the announcer. he had stepped on the remote in his haste to get dressed.  
  
"Our Precious Ruler, Queen Relena Peacecraft," the announcer began, "was killed yesterday. This sadness falls upon the land like a blanket of sorrow. A one-handed scientist wearing goggles that had long, white-gray hair is the commiter of the crime. He claims to be Heero Yuy's guardian, and sought revenge on our Queen. He had placed a bomb in her chambers, which unfourtunatly escaped the detection of officials, and not but an hour later, or so calculated our ruler's brother, Milliardo, it exploded, killing our Queen and destroying her Mansion on the bay of the Sanq Kingdom. She will be sorely missed."  
  
Quatre watched, mouth agape, and Duo did the same, jaw dropped to the floor. Suddenly, the American shook his head, and a hesitant grin spread across his heart-shaped face.  
  
The grin grew wider and wider, until he was forced to squeeze his eyes shut. Then, he began to laugh.   
  
Quatre looked at him questioningly, a bit frightened. "Duo...?" he asked.  
  
"I- I understand now!" Duo said, between rounds of laughter. "Relena- she killed Heero. But for a reason. Heero died for a reason. His life had meaning! Heero's life had meaning! His life had meaning!!!!"  
  
"And... umm... what would that... be?" Quatre asked, inching towards the door.  
  
"To kill that BITCH!!" Duo crowed, falling to his knees and rocking back and forth.  
  
Quatre opened the door, but stopped when he heard Duo's voice. "Wait- Quatre."  
  
Quatre returned to the bed, and sat, watching Duo, who was still on the floor.   
  
"I want to thank you." Duo began. "For what you did for me. I understand now. All those times Heero beat me, then took my body, and I told myself that he loved me, and I loved him back... you were there. When he died, I thought it was my fault... you helped me. You told me why he died. It was not my fault, you said. Relena's. And lastly... you gave me back what I had lost. I can't grieve anymore... because now I know Heero died for a reason."  
  
Quatre felt relief flutter in his heart.   
  
"He died because... Relena had to." Duo was sober now, staring at his clasped hands. "Heero died so that Dr. J. would kill Relena. And Trowa died so that... Heero would understand his mission. So that Heero would go. And Wufei left... so that you could help me." Duo looked up, teary eyed. "You've helped me. I want to give something back to you."  
  
Quatre blushed. "Duo... I helped you move on. That's all."  
  
Duo stood and walked over to the bed, sitting on it, beside Quatre. "May I give you something in return?"  
  
Quatre sighed, but nodded.  
  
Duo lowered his lips to Quatre's face, and placed them lightly on the other's.  
  
Quatre jerked back. "Duo, surely you didn't mean- that!?"  
  
Duo's eyes were a slanted, shimmering violet. "If you'll have me, Quatre. I want to give myself to you."  
  
Quatre smiled. "If I ever take you, or you me, it will be because of love, not because you feel you need to give me something in return."  
  
"But... this is for love..." Duo said, gazing at Quatre.  
  
"It... it is?" Quatre said. /I didn't think he knew how I felt about him.../ Quatre swallowed heavily. /As I've taken care of Duo, I've found that in me something longs to help him, heal him, love him... but I ignored it, what with Trowa and Heero's death weighing me down.../  
  
"Quatre..." Duo began, making the Arabian look back up, "I love you. And I know you love me too. Heero would have never done what you did for me. I've heard Trowa, just as you have. He told me... what you want, and what you need. I want to give you myself... and I want you to take it, and not push it away."   
  
  
  
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Part 4:  
Turn To Me  
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Quatre sighed and stroked the slumbering head that rested on his chest. Duo had been right. The were happy together. They were whole.   
  
The doorbell rang, the sound vibrating throughout the house. An intercom on his sidetable picked up. "Should I answer, Master Quatre?"  
  
"No, I'll get it, thank you, Rashid." The Arabian rose and lay the other boy back down, pulling the blanket up over him. He pulled on a pair of shorts, and raked a hand through his bangs.  
  
When he reached the door, he looked through the peekhole, then fumbled excitedly with the doorknob. "Wufei!"  
  
The Chinese stepped calmly inside, and bowed. "I've come back."  
  
Wufei yelped as his personal space bubble was broken by a glomping-Quatre.  
  
********************************************************************  
  
"So, who was your relative?" Duo asked Wufei from across the table, as he shovled food into his mouth.  
  
"An uncle. He had been on a mission with scouting troops when the colony... detonated."  
  
Wufei watched Duo slurp down his tea, and caught the gentle nudge from Quatre, who whispered for him to stop splashing like he was at a water park.  
  
Rashid had one thick, brown eyebrow raised as he observed the same behavior.  
  
/Hmm... now where have I seen this before?/ Wufei asked himself, silently sipping his own.  
  
*****************************************************************  
  
(Author's Note): Happy Ending! ^__^   
  
~Owari~   
  
(Author's Note): I'm sorry all of you die-hard Trowa and Heero fans. I hope I didn't totally piss you off by making them go bye-bye. And another thing- should I have added more? I think I cut it off too short. Oh Well!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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